Darrell Joyce

Comedian - Speaker - Author

Rue Paul

Rue Paul Paul McCartney is about to have is ass handed to him! His ex wife (Heather Mills/famous for nothing but marrying a Beatle) is asking for half of his estate in the divorce after only 4 years of marriage. Fo’ years! Four? I could see, maybe, 20 years, but it takes longer than four years to pay off a car loan, you don’t get set-for-life money for that! You failed, sweetheart! Women should be rewarded for what they bring to a marriage, not moving in and flopping on the couch!

He’s going to rue the day he coughs up that dough. I’m on Sir Paul’s side on this one, but his kids told his old ass to have her sign a pre nupt, but nooooooooooo! Ol’ Love, love me do is kicking himself in the bullocks for this one. Headline: 60-year old billionaire weds one-legged young chick? ‘Nah, I don’t need a pre nupt, we love each other.’ SURPRISE, dumbass! She wants half! $500 million! That’s so much money that you don’t even have to pronounce or spell it correctly… She wants HAFF!

Now she’s accusing him of calling her names, abusing her, throwing her false leg and making her fetch it! I believe his words were, ‘Scamper after your bloo’y limb, m’lady!’ All kinds of crap, when, she should just take a few million and the beach house, and kick rocks! But, like I say in the book (Volume 1), the woman you marry is not the same woman who can’t wait to leave your ass! Get a pre nupt, especially if you’ve been on the old Ed Sullivan show, and did a duet with Michael Jackson! Two reasons to protect yourself! First Kobe, now this. More proof that women like this do better when they leave successful men than to stick by them. Hell, I’d leave a woman giving me no problems for $500 million!

Now, sadly, this is the countdown to when she’ll end up on Oprah telling her story to sympathetic 3rd shift, and spoiled, married-up women. The date today 10/26/06. In a few weeks it will be “Oh, Oprah, it was horrible! He used to make me tickle his old wrinkled plums. He’d put jelly on them and wiggle them about. He’d say, “Pauley wants you to play with these buggers!’ That’s how they talk over there, I think. “Mass-awge me bloo’y bullocks alread-ee!’ She jumps up screaming because, well, it’s not a nightmare, there is actually a 64-year old set of plums dangling about her mandible. And, they probably got old to her overnight, like when you leave food out instead of refrigerating it. Old, scraggly, uneven Beatles ball? And no pre nupt? In her words, F/U, pay me!