MisInformation

The First Date

Gotta have rules on these first dates, man. Too much going down that ruins the whole experience. Though I very rarely take random women out on dates, I have ended up in a few situations where the woman or women automatically expected me to cater to them. Wrong! If I picked up the phone and invited you out for the evening, those rules come into play. If you are simply sitting across from my buddy and I and he knows your friend, I don’t owe you jack!!!! Nada! Nothing, so kill the fake, near death dry cough you’re using to imply your need for a beverage! You either get paid every week or every two weeks like the rest of us—buy your own drinks! Food and whatever else as well. YOU pay for it. You!

This casual meeting/the man pays concept is garbage. And, sadly, it is being kept alive by lame guys with no game. Just because a woman is sitting across from you does not mean you must cater to her, whether you like her or not. Wait her out and see where head is. Don’t just start offering up perks and nourishment unless you sent out the invitation. Slow your roll!

By now you are wondering do I ever pay for dates? Yes, for women I have seen more than once or twice. The first time we see each other after the number exchange, believe me, you better eat before you leave the house. Don’t cross you fingers and powder your nose, you’ll be sorely disappointed. I may pay for coffee if I invite you out for coffee but, that’s just for general get-to-know-you purposes. If you get hungry during that and want to grab a meal, it’s Dutch until I invite you out for food. Get it?

First dates should be short and sweet. Whatever ideas are floating through your head, pick one. That’s all she gets. Dinner, movie, walk in the park, coffee… pick one! Save the rest for the next time. If there is one. And, ladies, bring cash. Nothing more disgusting than a chick eating up food and drinking up drinks and doesn’t even have 4 bucks for the tip. Talk about spoiled and selfish. I’ve never left the house without cash on hand. How do you even enter a restaurant or bar with no cash of your own? Believe me, chicks do this. I know they are often lying, but still…

Once on a date, the bill came and I had just enough cash to cover the check before I’d have to whip out the plastic. Let’s say the check was $74. 39 and I only got $80 cash on me. If I go “Hey, you got a 5 spot on you?” You’d better have it! Sometimes you get caught off guard and drop all your cash on the meal and don’t have 5 bucks to tip the valet. If she wrinkles her nose up like her allergies just kicked in, she’d dead in the water right there on the spot.  It’s not all about what I am willing to spend on you, where I will take you or whatever else you expect out of this date, it is about coming together to make this a mutually desirable experience. To think you shouldn’t have to cover the tip or tip the coat guy is a definite sign that you are a gold digger. Guys, these women are weekend rentals only. Never take them home to momma!!!

I said all that to say this: Never take women on dates until you really, really know them. I mean, their tendencies, all that. Why found out she is a selfish chick after you’ve copped concert tickets and made dinner reservations? This is why you meet at the park, have coffee or pop in on her lunch break to feel her out first. Too many guys make the mistake of offering the night of her life upfront. Flick that!!! Treat your wallet like she does her body…..you’ll get in it when you show me you deserve it!

http://men.msn.com/articlees.aspx?cp-documentid=7542349&page=%20%20%20%20%20%201

Above is a link for men and women to read over and consider stepping your game up in the mate selection process. Too often I am asked what it entails to become that “good” man most women claim to be so elusive. A difficult question to answer, but this will get you started.

One thing i have always said was that a man must be motivated to constantly better himself. Not solely to meet women, but for himself and those around him. He should be a role model without even knowing it. Real men step up to the plate and handle situations rather than make excuses for them. For the women reading this, look for some of the qualities in choosing a mate. He must be of his own mind and not driven by current trends or social pressures. He must have the basic fundamentals of being man in check. Having all the working equipment is no longer enough. Being cute, successful or popular means nothing in the long run. If you just want a date or a bed buddy, use that criteria. If you want a life-long relationship, choose a man that appears to be on a constant quest to better himself. Being with him will make you want more for yourself. Nothing like a man who inspires others, and oozes confident, class and morals without even saying.

This list caught my eye because there were so many examples in it that I felt reflected my views. If you know of a man who would benefit from reading the list, forward to him. It’s a great read.

dj..

Is the media’s protrayal of the black community unfair or, in some ways, fairly accurate? Can the media be blamed for any of the problems within the black community? I’ll say this, for the mindset of our troubled youth, yes. A parent cannot completely supervise a child 24 hours a day. There will be times that the child is away from the parent so, even the most vigilant of parents cannot block or intercept what their children are exposed to. Something will get through. They will watch television at a friends, or many other sources not in the parents control. It’s an uphill battle for most parents.

Now, that is not to say that the media does not do its part by shoving negative images down the throats of our youth. If the media’s agenda was to undermine a group of people, it would be the young black youth because, well, they are the most impressionable. They have little life experience, so the choices they make often must be influenced by outside sources, since they have no frame of reference for what being a good kid may be. Young boys often get their perception of how to be a man, tough, or desirable to women from what the see and hear in the media. Young girls are often led to promiscuity because of the terrible female role models they are bombarded with on a constant basis. Again, the parent cannot monitor every single aspect of a child’s life no matter how hard they try.

For the black community, a major culprit is the infamous music channels such as MTV, or BET channel (the worst!), geared supposedly to the likings of the black community. Wrong! Beyond wrong! Most intellectual, accomplished black do not waste their time on that pointless network. BET (Black Entertainment Television) is a slap in the face as, you never see WET (White Entertainment Television) for the non-white sector of society. To say to black people “This is your channel, all for you.” and then cram malt liqour, soul food, spinning rims and rap videos filled with half-naked girls and gold toothed hoodlums down our throats as if that is all we can relate to. It is appauling to the conscious minded among us; no big deal the least productive who find pleasure in being stereotyped by an entire network for profit.

Sadly, the media finds and recieves a good deal of their information from black people who they see or interact with. Not to mention, daily news coverage of any and every thing going on in the black community. Any crime by hoodlums or, now, rich and famous hoodrats becomes newsworthy for days at a time to show the rest of the world that, even though you give them millions of dollars, they still do not know how to act. A true statement when you lump rappers, drug dealers, a few bad apples from the sports world into one catagory or race. It’s a black eye to all black people. We are not of one mind.

I’ll end on personal accountability. I don’t think anyone would be upset to hear me say we are not representing ourselves well. Where is individual culpability? Now, I will admit that a TV station cannot be blamed for symptons of a community, or its downfalls. Especially when those symptoms were there before the stations inception. Networks like BET are not the entire problem, but as a network that’s supposed to be “for blacks”, it doesn’t help either. Telling black children over and over again that being black means being “ghetto” in my opinion is nothing short of racist. We are as diverse a people as any on the planet, but the media refuses to protray us in the vein. It’s always bastard children, crime, guns, foolish athletes, rims, diamond and liqour. As if that is all black people want.

How do we even the playing field? Stop watching! Read! Talk with your children about what they’ve just witnessed. Explain it. Tell them they do not have to live up to the stereotype in front of them. That it is not ALL black people. We do not all slaughter words like those idiots on the music video sets introducing the next rap videos. They are coons, and may as well work in black face. “Yo, dawg, check it! We ’bout to bounce up into some mad, ill videos, nahmean?” Truthfully? No! I mean, I get it. You think you have to be uneducated to be accepted by the blacks you look up to, but… when you have to dumb yourself down so that those beneath you will look up to you, what do you really have? You promote ignorance in order to be accepted within those limited, often troubled social circles? Grow up.

The media labels anything the do not understand, but still want to market to the lesser informed as “urban”. If you would never want your kid to say it, wear it or do it, it gets marketed to your kids as “urban.” Sagging jeans, unlaced sneakers, ridiculous hairdos, broken english and immoral behavior. The media passes it off as them “getting it” by pandering to the lowest common denominators of the black community, annoiting them as the majority, when they are the minority. More blacks speak proper (if there is such a term) english, work hard, are good parents to their children, do not smoke weed, drink or live nightclubs. But they are not cool or hip blacks, according to the media.

Aiming specific programming at blacks is dangerous. Especially when every image is a perp’ walk (criminal being placed into a police car, or escorted to jail), buffoonery, misogony, materialism, sex and money. There-in lies the message black people.

These are your crutches..Sex
Money
Materialism 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OBPaenkxdg

If I were to tell me anything about choosing a woman, it would be the same thing I would tell a woman: quite often what a person wears is a representation of where their values are. (If they have any values to speak of.) No, you cannot always just a book by it’s cover, but often times, women choose to express themselves through fashion in ways that are more detrimental to their cause than even they believe. There is something to be said about women who lack or refuse to show any class having any gripes about the state of men today or relationships. Many of them dress and carry themselves in way that force men to place them on the “booty call” or “You will never meet my momma!” list.

In other words, women show men how to treat them by how they exit the house. You cannot complain about my impression of you if you behind it. You bought it, you wore it, now you are upset about how men percieve you and, yet, ….it’s the mens fault? REally? You are dresses like a booty call…. but you want a good man? A husband? Good men looking for wives do not marry women dress like hoes. Doesn’t mean you are a hoe, it just means you have the mindset of a hoe. Which, if you break it down, kinda places you squarely into the “might be a hoe” catagory.

The irony of it all is women choose men based upon how they are dressed, and they often get exactly what they see. With men, true, there are some who are deadbeats, hoodlums, thugs, whatever you want to call them, and they dress just like it. No mistaking it. And, somehow, women still end up pregnant, abandoned by, or complaining about them. Atleast with men, we know that if your boobs are about to fall overboard, your butt cheeks are hanging out of your shorts, and your midrift is exposed to show off your lowerback tattoo, you’ve taken all of the guess work out of it for us.

Treat them like you meet them. That’s the rule. This clip is one of my favorites, and sums it up nicely…with a laugh.