Divorce. Good, or just good for you?
Divorce is bad, but once it’s officially placed on the table, consider it being handed your freedom. A new life. A chance to do all those things that being married prohibited. Start over!
After a recent show, the topic of divorce ran rampant throughout the room. “Oh, why me? Why me? Why me?” Maybe it wasn’t you. Stop making about you, and about the two of you. Maybe this is just the way it should be. Something I never see in any magazine geared to guide and educate women is the reality of divorce. The real reason(s) for it. It’s over. Not solely because of anything you did, or failed to become, it’s just over. I’ll explain.
When a man decides he’s leaving there is nothing you can do. His mind is made up. The worst thing you can do is try to work it out, hang in there, try to do more of what you believe or was told was lacking. It’s too late. He wants out, that’s it, ..move on. Yes, that’s easier said than done, but not so difficult if you look at it logically from the beginning.
Look, once I decide I am no longer happy, it has less to do with you, and more to do with doing everything I can to make myself happy. If distancing myself from you or a job I hate or a place I live is the answer, those are the measures I take. Should be the same with anyone. Only women believe in this fairy tale that if you just work harder at it, it will all work out. Wrong! Why? Because you will be the only one working on it, and you will feel slighted at the end, when he simply looks at you and walks out the door. Suddenly these emotions overwhelm you, leading you to relive all the things you did to make it work. How you suggested counseling, let go of a few bad habits, changed friends, gave up a few indulgences, etc. The reason you are so hurt now is ….you were the only one trying. He checked out long ago. The second he told you he wanted out, he clocked out. All the books you read, seminars you attended, counseling you paid for was for you to get some understanding of why your relationship is over. Plain and simple: he wants out.
Most of us have had a job that paid okay, and we wanted or needed for very little. Still, with that said, how many of us have left that same job even though they offered us more money, a corner office, even a company car. We still quit, right? Now, let’s place the woman in the position of the job. They offered you more money, less hours, the office and the company car……and you still quit! Why? Because, no matter what changes they make now, your mind was made up long ago. Back when you felt they either weren’t listening, or simply did not care. So doing everything I want you to do now makes no sense when I’ve been bringing it to your attention since God knows when. Same goes for a relationship. It’s too late to start now.
I’ve dated women who, now that I am headed for the door, suddenly started stepping their game up. Now they want to stop all the bickering,, withholding sex, check their hygiene, behavior, etc. I’m at the end of my rope, and now you want to come around and see the light? Too late. Male or female, there comes a time when enough is enough. Now, that does not mean you are a failure, so to speak. It simply means it is time to let that person go. What they want out of life, a relationship cannot be found with you. Doesn’t mean you suck, just that they need what you are not comfortable giving them. It’s choice not chance.
Final example would be the female perspective. They put up with the lying, the cheating, the abuse and sporadic employment for ages. Then, one day, it hits them…you suck! Big time! All these issues they’ve been trying to deal with have become to heavy for her little shoulders. Even the crap the people on the outside looking in do not even know you’ve done; it all comes to the forefront. She’s finished, and she wants out. Now, if you all of a sudden decide to stop doing all the crap, sober up and get a job…it’s too late! She cannot go back, and why should she? In this and the previous cases, divorce is the only option. But, to better yourself, to free the other from this prison that, if your think about it, could be the very reason their behavior has become an issue. Divorce may be the healthiest thing for the both of you. Maybe she lashes out because, deep down, she’s tired of how you treat her. Maybe he drinks because he can’t deal with her when sober. She isn’t necessarily a bad person, just wrong for him. Same goes for the guy. You’re better off apart.
Just………..daaaamn!!!!
The king of b/s is at it again!!! I hate This man with a passion, but this clip floored me!!! It’s not just the beginning, listen to the crap. It’s only a couple minutes long, bear with it. This is the crap that noone has an explanation for. Now, listen….. it gets worse! Just…
look…just watch the clip.