MisInformation

Stella Wants Her Cash Back

This entry was posted on 3/24/2007 12:02 AM and is filed under Hollywood.
Author Terry McMillan (Waiting To Exhale, How Stella Got Her Groove Back) is pissed and it is going to take $40 million dollars to calm her down. The 55 year old author has filed a lawsuit against her former husband, Jonathan Plummer, for attempting to smear her reputation. The suit claims that Plummer was aware that he was homosexual before marrying McMillan and that he deceived her in order to get US citizenship. In 2005, McMillan appeared on Oprah claiming that her marriage was “based on deceit” and Plummer was nothing more than a gold-digging pimp.

The McMillan suit reads,”The defendants conspired and formed a plan to threaten to humiliate and embarrass Terry McMillan and violate her privacy and place her in harm’s way, and threatened to damage her professional and personal standing in an attempt to extort monies from her.”

As i stated in my book in the subchapter “Male-in rebates” there has always been a double standard for when women screw up in relationships versus the men. When a woman makes a horrible choice in men society automatically rewards her for it. Bails her out. Yet, when a man chooses to date, marry or have children by less than credible women…society penalizes the man, and rewards the woman monetarily.

That said, you tell me if Ms. McMillions deserves a cash back offer like she qualified for a 0% GM loan on a new car. Tell me that, because she was so dense that she didn’t know this dude was gay that she shouldn’t still have to pay up in the divorce. She’s should get no refund because he lied or defrauded her because how many men marry women who promise to be all she can be in the marriage and drop the ball on that? How many men woke up next to 300 lb wilderbeasts after several years of marriage? Do these men get reimbursed? What if she hit the gym religiously, didn’t curse, avoided bars and the nightclub scene up until the honeymoon, and now is drunk, fat slob who maxed out the credit cards and keeps a nasty house, all while refusing to work? Where is his check? His rebate? Of course, there is none, because in these cases, women believe that only they can be victims.

This is another reason men are refusing to get married: too much financial risk if it doesn’t work, while there is nothing but upside for the now, morally bankrupt, obese, attitude-laced defendant sitting across from him about to acquire his house, money and Gawd knows what else….from being nothing like what she came in to the relationship as.

Bottom line: The dude was gay, she never official got her groove back, but had a few good orgasm, and now she wants her cash back, too. Too bad, and too late! Those were million dollar orgasm you paid for. And, I am sure many other women who foolishly read you books on man-hating are in the same boat. The Unlove boat! With gay waiters and bisexual benchpressers marrying dimwitted women giving up the bootknocks because they are in another time zone or zip code. She brought home an imposters, yes, but that’s her fault for walking around with blinders on. We all saw it, why didn’t you?

Now who’s “…to the left”!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For ages I believed that, since i am a black man, it was my honor to be with a black woman, but that too many black women feel it is a black man’s duty to do so! As though he has no other choice in the matter. He’s black and successful, so he MUST date black! Even if he finds it as difficult to find a suitable mate as black claim they have. Black woman, or else!

As a youth, i never put much thought into the matter. It was never an issue. Mainly because I had only one percpetion of what a woman was, how she should carry herself, my worth to her, etc. Based on the limited perameters of my judgement then, i was waaaaaaay off!

I’ve traveled to nearly every continent on the planet doing standup, and the one thing i began to notice was that black women seem to be the least unhappy, no matter their circumstance. No matter they island, continent, state or career path..they seem bitter, hard, or disgruntled. They find courtesy a chore, smiling quite laboring, and badmouth their men the most. In short, too many black women today are in this constant state of bitterness toward life, love and especially, black men. They either hate the ones they chose, or the ones they know they can’t have. “Wrote a song about it! Like to hear’t, here it go!” (Just had a David Allen Grier flashback to In Living Color for no damn reason!)

Sure, there are stories you hear from men who have dated outside their race, and for a while, you pretend that what you hear is just his opinion and not fact. Though nothing is factual across the board, and i do not want to paint black women with a broad brush, but the two years it took to write and research this book..I came to the conclusion that this current generation (about 35 and under) are, will never be, or refuse to be happy.

Truly cultured, established black men-like black women claim is becoming extinct-all said the same things: Nothing pleased her. She carried an attitude 24/7. Too many illegitamate kids by thugs, hoodrats and criminals….never smiles, difficulty with courtesy. These were prominent black men that i just randomly stopped, or noticed were with women of other races. You’d be surprised what people will tell you after a show. The hoodlums, thugs and whatnots seemed to have no opinion beyond: fat ass, nice rack, juicy lips. They were still clueless to what real femininity, or virtous women were like. All they see is shapes and sizes and potential baby mommas.

Baby mommas are reaching epidemic proportions because the guys these girls and woman have kids children by eventually see them for what they truly are…a nice ass, only in the right pair of jeans, and far from a woman. In fact, two or three kids by a guy that hasn’t married you yet should clue you in to that, ladies, but it doesn’t appear to the case. They think more and more black men are the reason they have several offspring by losers. It’s always us, never them. Not all, but far too many these days.

I challenge anyone to this test. Take the next day or so and walk around looking at black women of all social, economic, and physical ranges and notice how many of them cannot put a smile on thier face for anything. Arms folding into their armpits, mouth twisted, chewing gum snapping, eyes rolling about in thier heads, obvious weaves, hips popping like thier rear ends are the cure for cancer, clothes too tight and pulling two or three little ones along. Too much attitude and emotional baggage! Yet, they are tired of these broke-ass, tired black men. (Any female R&B song will fill in the blanks.)

Now, I already know that many will lose thier minds over what I have written. It is to be expected. Yet, why is it that when I speak to the older generation of black women (40’s and up) they seem to get it? Life, love, that relationships take teamwork and not just being cute enough for someone to take care of. The older women understand compromise, going without, working together, spoiling a good man if he does right by her. These brand new black women have a lot to learn if they ever want to be considered viable candidates for commitment of any level.

I’ll end this first post about my new book with this: All black women really have to do is smile. And, to practice that more than a new dance move or the application of makeup. Look as though you are capable of joy. Control the chewing gum, buy your clothes in the correct age-appropiate sizes, stop getting tattoos on your neck and breasts, buy and use condoms.  And for God’s sake….SMILE!

Is it me, or are too many newscasters fine these days? Some of these women are so fine that you almost welcome a tragedy just to see them. “Yeah, yeah, that IS sad, but they need to pan down to those hips and thighs on her!” That fine, where, even if i was the person that got shot, I´d still want to be interviewed. ¨Nah, nah, i can´t feel my toes and i am bleeding some´n awful,  but you are fine as wine, Ms. Thang! I alwasys told myself that if i got shot, stabbed or robbed, i want you to cover it. Thanks, now, pull the blanket over my face, i ain´t gon´make it! With you fine ass!”

Solid O´Brian, on The Today Show? Fine! Classy, smart, unique! Sabila Vargas on that entertainment tonight show? Fine! Too damn fine! Ashleigh Banfield is school teacher, write on the chalkboard fine! It´s the glasses!

I´ve always had crushes on news chicks, though. The way they speak and carry themselves is such a turn on. I love an educated, classy, respectable woman. How much they´ve worked on themselves shows. It goes without saying. Oh, and Robin Mead and CNN? So cute! She looks like she snorts when she laughs, but she´s too cute.

Nancy Grace? I´m uckin´f with you! Gross! That little tree stump hates the world, man! And everything in it! That big ass lampshade hairdo of hers, that fake “I care so much, but i really just want to exploit you for personal gain.” look on her face. (Shivers!!!!) The though of intimacy with her! Eeeuw! She never has anything knew to say, ever! Today, the Michael Jackson fiasco…” Okay, Nancy, you and every other comedian alive must retire all Michael Jackson material! All of it! She needs to do the news with a blurry dot over her face from now on!

I guess i like powerful, confident, well-dressed women. So, for those who claim they must slut-it-up for men to notice them, they probably weren´t coming to the table with much else to begin with. You rarely see news chicks from the waist down, and they are still sexy….behind a desk! But, let the entertainment segment kick in with the young chick in the too tight, almost too revealing attire on to give us the new scoop on some c celebrity most of care little about. She´s always a step away from whoredom, while the news chick is sitting there, poised, elegant.

I´m just a sucker for a classy chick. Nothing wrong with that!

I was trying with every ounce of my being to not discuss this Anna Nicole Smiff thing, but you can´t get away from it! You just….can´t! The media won´t let you! Yet, they deliver the news like somebody called them up and asked “Hey, no Anna Nicole news today?”

The worst are the pointless hour long programs that go back in her life and recap up to the almost now. All crap nobody ever cared about, or even care about now. Nobody cares! Sorry she´s dead, but, damn! She´s not the only person that died in the past month or so. Hell, James Brown is still on tour right now, in a casket! Now, you know that´s wrong, right? Too wrong! That´s why you have to write things down before you die or it will never get done! Fightin´over the money and who gets what? Sad!

We all know this Howard K. Stern dude had something to do with her and her sons death. He´s as not guilty as O.J Simpson and his book about if he did it or not. If I did it? Talk about rubbing two murders in somebody´s face! You know he did that isht now! He´s too cocky about it! “Yeah, well….I ain´t kill the itch´b, but if i did… here´s how i would have done it, since i did do it!” O.J is so guilty that he and Scott Peterson email each other daily. “Yeah, that IS what i did wrong.”

Still, Anna Nicole was never talented, or even attractive, just naked. And she married a billionaire that was actually around to see the first car roll off an assembly line! Dude was ancient, and his kids were like, “Wait, so, you gon´marry this itch´b with nooooo prenupt? At all?” Don´t be surprised if one of  his kids didn´t off her ass! A half billion? When you did nothing but marry a fool? That, Paul McCartney´s divorce, and the billionaire french dude giving up 2 billion to his ex is reason enough to avoid marriage like a sobriety checkpoint for me. I´ll date you until to ask too many questions, then escape in a egg-shaped pod capable of withstanding insults, attorneys, and 1000 degree heat!

Anna Nicole is the exact reason i would never date a playboy model, or any delisional chick who assumes what she does is actually modeling. How could you respect or even trust any female who spent the weekend at the playbody mansion? Somebody has ran all up in that, stank´t all to be damned! I´m with Bill O´Reilly on that….they are all whores, otherwise they´d put clothes on and get real jobs! Sorry she´s dead, but don´t miss her or Elvis!

 Out!

i don’t know what’s gotten into me, but i have done some pretty questionable things here lately. First, i buy a motorcycle that i got bored of in a matter of days, but, doubled my damn insurance for the year! For sale? You betcha!

Then, i decide to take a helicopter ride. Why? You tell me? Bored or something! Ever since i used to watch Magnum P.I I’ve wanted to ride in a helicopter. Again, i don’t know why.

 Well, I’m in L.A a few days ago sitting in my hotel bored out of my mind, so i decide to go for a walk along the piers of San Pedro. There’s some sort of festival going on with amusement rides, etc. I see a sign that says “Helicopter rides” with a big arrow for those who have trouble reading pointing me to the right. I follow the signs to an area with people standing around amazed at the sight of the thing, but not going near it. But, Darrell is stoopit, so the story continues.

“How much?” i say. “That’s it? Sign me up!” Well, you actually do have to sign up and sign your life away. The girl in the booth thing goes, “Step on the scale, please.” YEAH, in front of everybody! I turn “Get back! All up in mines! Back up!” People were whispering, “Awww, he knows he’s getting fat, awwwww!”

I pay, get the talk about if the thing goes down they never heard of me, and that if i scream like a girl they’re going to sell the footage. I don my life jacket. I can’t  even swim, so, i would basically just kick my legs until a shark finds me in the water.

The pilot fires up the engine and does all the preflight checks, then turns the blades up full throttle, blowing small children and frail old people across the lawn into a pile by the fence. It was loud, intimidating, but drying the tears of feardom i have streaming down my face. Was i going to cry? Prolly! But not on the ground!

I’m in, strapped in, got my headset on, and the guy starts with the “Uncle, Nancy, Bird, 45 degrees east, slight brisk windy conditions favorable. Yep, he’s cryin’! Over!” Then he looks over at me…. It’s my turn to talk. to say something cool to the guy giving us the thumbs up… But i choked! A stand up comic…and i choked! I went… “..absolutely.” Ever head people laughing at you through headsets. Not cute! And, i have to pee.

We take off backwards, with the thing spinning all around in circle, the blades are even louder now, and the thing floats up effortlessly. The pilot starts giving me some info about the ‘cpoter, and the manuevers we were going to attempt. He actually said “attempt” like, “Hey, you win some, you lose some. This might be the one i lose. Enjoy.”

As he is giving me instructions his hands are moving when he talks, and i do that too, but not when i am flying a helicopter! “Oh, this thing can virtually fly itself almost.” That’s not even a real sentence! Almost? Then he does a manuever! Don’t tell nobody or nothing just …vrrrrrmmmmmmmm! “Ya’likedat?” I’m speechless. Not scur’d or nothing, just….concerned.

Then, i turn 5-years old, and i go “Looky, looky, uh eehpwane!” Why it came out like that, i will never know, but the sight of an airplane that close to you gives you a rush. He takes us up, like, big time, with just a nudge of the stick and we are waaaaaaaaaay up high! And, all my plans to do a comedic rendition of the traffic copter news went out the window, man! Now i was scur’d! We zoon across the L.A area, dipping, turning, up and down, and the finally, back on the landing pad. All in all, it was a great experience, and if i ever decide to break up with a girl again, it will be in a helicopter.

Gone!

With some men, their relationship wounds are often self-inflicted. Child support being one of them. I hear many men gripe about the amount they must pay, and worse, the back child support they owe. Regardless, you owe it. How much, and how far behind you’ve gotten is your fault. It can’t get behind if you pay it. And, if it is too much, pay it until you reach a resolution. It can only help men to pay timely, but many cut off all support until a resolution is met. Mistake!

But, here’s the sting many men do not expect. That relationship you had with a woman who said she wouldn’t take you to court if you just did your part and spent time with the kid. And, like a fool, you fell for it. Pay her, sure, but be smart about it because the woman you meet is never the same woman trying to leave or get something out of you because she now hates you. And, even if she doesn’t appear to hate you now, who knows what could happen down the line.

I cannot stress this enough; pay through the courts or reputable mediator! Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever agree to pay her cash or even check because things are cool between the two of you. Too many guys fall for this and get burned in the end. I know of one personal friend that had this arrangement with is “baby’s momma” for years. 8 or more, I think. Everything was fine until he got married to someone else and the thought of ever getting him back, or anymore late night creeps had a permanent stank placed on them—It was over! She was only being nice to get him back. Secretly still loved him. Hoping he would have a change of heart. Even allowing him to slide back into bed with her during his lonely times and hers. Mistake!!!!

What happened next is typical. Convenient amnesia! She’s telling the court she hasn’t received any assistance in years. Years! Sporadic at best! Aside from a few cancelled checks or bank statements, he could not prove those cash transactions ever occurred between them and he was caught out there! Hoodwinked! Bamboozled! And another civil rights word that escapes me at the moment!

Needless to say, the courts found him several years behind on his support and hit him for nearly $8000.00! And, they went easy on him with that figure! 8 years? He got lucky! We all knew she was lying, but, without proof, what can you do? He had to start paying it…..AGAIN! Now imagine paying your car off and the banks calls and goes, “We don’t remember ever receiving a payment from you so, could you start all over?” You would freak out, and, with no check stubs or bank statements to verify that you did in fact make those payments, you are screwed!!!!!!

What most men assume is an understanding between he and the mother of his child is only that as long as she likes you. The second she has reason to hate you, she can pull the rug right out from under you, and take you to the cleaners like a Sunday suit! Heavy starch, no creases.

Bottom line: Nobody, male or female, is the same person they were in the beginning once a relationship sours. And it doesn’t take much for them to sour. One bad day, one wrong comment, her seeing with her own eyes that you have in fact moved on…and you can cancel Christmas!!! Pay your child support through the courts, or some reputable mediator or you will have hell or more payments to pay. Now you and your new wife or girlfriend will have the debt hanging over your heads like unpaid student loans! You can’t buy a house, or new car, or there is a lien on your assests, if not possible jail time!

So, remember, you aren’t with the mother of your child for a reason..add another reason to the equation: Trust! Don’t trust or believe her, and get it in writing that you’ve paid! You don’t want to become a thatistic!

Damn, another stolen baby? I thought that trend was over and done, didn’t you? We’ve already moved on to driving in diapers, mallets and jump rope. But nope! 20-year old Rayshawn (who knows how it’s supposed to be spelled) Parson disguised herself as a nurse and walked into a Lubbock, Texas hospital and stole a newborn baby, smuggling it out in a purse. She absconded (Aren’t you proud of me?) with the baby into, I believe, New Mexico. (Because black people don’t stand out there, we blend right in with the 700 white people that live there.) Good hiding place, uh.. (goes back to check mispellage) Rayshawn…nia?

I think I stole some candy once from a cookie jar, no doubt, but…babies? A whole lit’lin? News reports are claiming she was disgruntled after having several miscarriages and desperately wanted a baby to raise alone because it’s just easier that way. (All her friends are doing it.) She was just buckin’ for a spot on Maury Povich, wasn’t she?

Scene: She comes out, the crowd boos her, she’s wearing a halter top and legwarmers, flip flops, and a blonde weave wig. On purpose! “Don’t hate, don’t hate, don’t hate, don’t hate!” as everyone pauses to question what she even means by that. “Don’t hate, congratulate!” Oh, now I got it. We’re just jealous. Thanks for saying it one more time or I would have never figured that out. Smart girl.

Now, (sighs).. here’s my question. A young black female who CAN’T get pregnant? No matter how irresponsible she is? Not even by a criminal with potent sperm? Blessing? I’d roll with that “flaw” as long as I could! Wouldn’t you. Hoe it up! Sell tickets to it! Then, graduate from college, establish a career, and buy a home. Silly stuff like, ohhh, get married first! No home training? Poor role model in the home? ‘Course!

Here comes the rant! Look, now…see..? What happened to having the husband first? The steady relationship, clean, stable environment to raise the child in, the ummm…career to finance this endeavor? Huh? Just backwards, starting with her name! Rayshawn? Now, you know her momma blended the daddy’s name with her own name to create this hybrid concoction many young and clueless mothers often label their children with. Or, should I say burden them with. Ray-Ray and Keyshawn had a baby and decided to name it Rayshawn? ….Brilliant! (Copyright of Guinness Stout beer commercial.)

It’s always the single chicks stealing babies. Married women couldn’t pull that off, could they? Scene: “Guess what? I done got us a new baby, Randy! Look at it!” “Uhhhh, can I talk to you in the kitchen, so the B-A-B-Y doesn’t hear us? Uh, ..I kinda wanted a satellite dish or a pool table. I mean..” “Randy John Baker Jr., you listen to me! We got us a 2007 baby, and we-are-keepin’ it!” “Is that you….on the news? See, if we had a satellite, I would’ve been watch wrestling, and never would have identified you as the stealer!”

What am I even gabbing out? Look, now, there was a time when every hit record and best-selling book was about men not doing their part as fathers, husbands, etc. Being broke, scrubs, whack in the sack, all that. Now, women have decided to just start stealing babies from other women with husbands who did it in the correct order. Just snatch the baby and run, or worse, take the life of the mother while the baby is still in the womb. Either way, no news program or popular talk show host will just come out and say “Women has lost their God-given minds!” Nope, you will still hear b/s R&B hit records about men being good-for-nothing, or sistahs being independent and prepared to raise the child on their own so pack you *ish’t!

“I can do bad all by myself!” Looks like you just did! Catchy tune, though.

In Volume 2, chapter titled Diplomatic Immunity, i ask if women are even held accountable for their actions. From Girls gone wild to Maury Povich, even murdering their own children? Not a harsh word is being breathed about these women bedding down young male students, even if they have husbands. It always get twisted to spout “Well, she was under a lot of pressure having to raise several children on her own, (wait for it….wait…!) with no help from any of their fathers! (There’d is!) Blame the man for why the woman has multiple children by multiple deadbeats and never question the character of the woman popping the kids out like foosball tickets! (Spent all my paper route money at Chuck E. Cheeses as a youth. Mindyabusiness!)

Now, “stolen baby syndrome” (You know it’s coming! It’s comin’! Either Dr. Phil or someone will title it, giving these crazy chicks another license for their deviant behavior, while blaming the men for somehow triggering it.) is all the rage now. Can’t get married, don’t have a husband, can’t spell or pronounce what you’re going to name this child yet? Well, then, steal a baby! Just take it! Figure the rest out later. Try this, get pregnant by your 12-year old student! It’s not against the law since you’re an attractive woman, so do it! Take him in the coatroom and shag him! You might even get a book or made-for-TV movie deal out of it. Men, on the other hand,…JAIL! For the same damn crime!